2008-01-04 Poetry, A Simple Thanks

2008-01-04, A Simple Thanks.

When I was seventeen I felt
The cage of my own culture
Surrounding me, stifling me.
The expectations, the preconceptions
Of my own family telling me
Who I was and who I would
Always be, were bars of steel.
I wanted freedom to breathe free,
To be me,
Whoever I decided me would be.
Maybe I wanted others to see me,
Not for who I was, but
Only for who I wanted to be.
I wanted to be liked,
So, like me.
I wanted to be appreciated,
Appreciate me.
I wanted to be loved,
So, love me.

Fast-forward forty years.
I would rather like myself
For loving someone else
Whether or not they know it,
Than to receive the adulation
For that for which I was no cause.
A simple thanks for what I do
Is quite enough.
When strangers gush over who
They think I am, it slides away.
They don’t know my failure
To be the person I want to be.
They don’t know me.
Why should I inflate myself
On false illusions?
I only want the honest truth.
Only I know the me
That I live with every day.
Only I know the joy
That comes to me
From helping others.
Only I know the pain
That comes from failing,
When I think I could have done it
Differently. It’s my choice.
Do I feed my soul with false illusions?
Or real actions, bringing joy to someone else?
Give me truth. Always.