Sunday, July 21, 2013

Words - The path of wisdom.

The path of wisdom is not one of violent confrontation.

     In 2010 I was in the checkout line at the local grocery store.  This particular store requires customers to bag their own groceries.  I was putting cans into the second of six bags, when the man behind me, waiting to check out a few items, lost his temper.  In a loud voice he began a long tirade voicing his unhappiness about how slow I was moving; how older people should not be in the way; what was the matter with me, was I deaf; and other, more provocative, epithets.

     While he was ranting, I realized that I had a choice.  One fantasy told me that I could look him in the eye, take this outside and, based on my somewhat limited ability with Aikido, throw the jerk to the ground.  But I knew that this was not the path of wisdom.  Instead, I chose to deliberately ignore him.  After two minutes of this, he made it through checkout and left the store ahead of me, to the relief of everyone within shouting distance.

     The path of wisdom is not usually one of violent confrontation.  But I remember the day when that rule changed.  It used to be, when we were threatened with violence and death, that submission was the best choice for survival.  "Do what I say, and no one gets hurt."  "Do what I tell you, and I won't kill you."  "Give me the money, or else."  And since money or things are less precious than life, this seemed like the best choice at the time.  Like being attacked by a bear, play dead and survive.  Submit and survive.

     On September 11, 2001, that rule changed.  On that day, plane after plane after plane full of passengers, following the rule of submission to hijackers, were flown into certain death by terrorists.  Realizing this, that they were going to die anyway, the passengers of a fourth plane responded with violence, attacked the hijackers, and died crashing into a Pennsylvania field, rather than crashing into the White House.

     Since that day, the rule has changed.  We all applauded the airline pilot who told his passengers, If anyone tries to hijack this plane, there are two hundred of you and only one of him. Take him down. (This is not a direct quote.)  But this new rule has been followed, and since then, several would-be hijackers and bombers were subdued by other passengers aboard airplanes.

     Since that day, the rule has changed.  We can no longer trust the kidnappers, rapists, or stalkers to let us live.  No matter what they say, we must consider the possibility that they actually intend to kill us.  Years ago, my first-cousin, Debbie, was knifed to death as collateral damage by her roommate's ex-husband.  He stalked and killed them both one night, leaving two young children to wake up to the dead and bloody bodies.  Sometimes we have to make the choice that violence, rather than submission, is going to give us the best chance of survival.

     The path of wisdom is not one of violent confrontation.  But on February 26, 2012, in Sanford, Florida, two men stepped off of the path of wisdom, choosing confrontation which ended in violence.  One man, angry at other people for getting away with burglary in the neighborhood, and having a gun to give him courage, chose to stalk someone he saw as a stranger.  The other man, in fear of his life for being stalked, chose confrontation, rather than running away.  In the ensuing fight, there was a struggle for the gun, and one of the two was shot to death.  Under the circumstances, it could have been either man shot to death.  Under the circumstances, any survivor could have been prosecuted by law for the other's death.

     The path of wisdom is not one of violent confrontation.  But the rule has changed.  Just because you have a gun, we will no longer submit to death without violence.  It is only before the threat, before the violence, can the choice be made to stay on the path of wisdom.  We can stay in the car, rather than force a confrontation.  We can run away, rather than submit to confrontation.  And when confronted, we can be respectful and polite, rather than allowing fear or anger to dictate our actions.

     That Trayvon Martin died in a struggle with George Zimmerman is a tragedy.  But we should not compound that tragedy by stepping away from the path of wisdom into violent confrontation.